Happy Dog: 2 years on

Honest to God, I never thought I would enjoy dog grooming so much.

Well, it's been 2 years since I first stepped into 4370 Bonita Road, something I never imagined I would ever do in my life. For prior to May 2021, I really didn't like dogs. I wasn't used to them. But you know what they say, you gotta do what you gotta do when you've got no proper shoes upon your feet and when you sometimes couldn't even eat and even cried yourself to sleep.

Ok, that last part is the lyrics from Mariah Carey's 1991 hit "Make It Happen", where she describes her hardships prior to fame. Although I was not in such precarious conditions, I was strapped for cash and employment-hungry. After all, in the second year of a global pandemic, I was unemployed and so was mummy. She basically sent the immunocompromised young adult out into a coronavirus-infested world to become temporary sole breadwinner, but who am I to judge? I have no Medicare benefits. Screw me, right?

The point being that I was in need of a job, and no one wanted to employ me in retail State-side. I guess I'm too brown to work for the big American corporations??? Who knows, but I was not acceptable for big retail stores (except Ross Dress For Less at 4444 Camino de la Plaza, which was an ordeal, daaaaaahling!). Mummy enlisted her personal friend, Susana Lombroso to employ me in her SoCal-famous dog grooming salon, Happy Dog Spaw, at 4370 Bonita Road, which is part of her doggy empire (she also operates a boarding facility and rescues dogs).

Sussy is literally the Queen of Grooming, and there is no disputing that. I am her trusty Mistress of the Robes, in charge of organizing her Ladies and Women of the Bedchamber on Saturdays.

I was now a dog bather. And so, on 25th May 2021, I rose at 4:30 am to embark on my transnational journey to the distant lands of Her Majesty's (now "His Majesty's", we've changed monarchs since) Royal Borough of Bonita and Sunnyside, in the County of San Diego, in the former dominions of the King of Spain. Needless to say, my journey to Bonita (10 miles from home) took around 6 hours. I was late. Well... not late, considering the famed words by Dame Julie Andrews in The Princess Diaries 2 (2004): The Queen is never late, everyone else is simply early.

After waiting three hours to cross the border, and taking two Royal Carriages (buses, for you commoners) and the Royal Train (the trolley), I finally arrived at 10:45 am at 4370 Bonita Road. I was warmly greeted by Susana, who has known me since I was a sonogram, and we got down to business. I was soon expressing canine anal glands for (then) $13.00/hour (gross, the anal glands and the wage, as in gross pay, before taxes).

My wage has since risen, but we still work for tips, daaaaaahlings, so tip your groomers and bathers!

The following week, on my second journey to Bonita, I met the children who have since become the apples of my eye: Ale and Emi (pet name for Emiliano). I first had a connection with the girl child, the sweetest person I have ever met. She may be spoiled rotten by her present-life mother, but she's a good kid. Then, by association, I became friends with Emi, who I still think may not have pursued my friendship had I not connected with the girl first.

All three of us soon bonded, and we soon came to the conclusion that I had pushed them out of my entrails in a previous life, as we all shared some common traits. These children became my children, and I will defend them with every ounce of motherly instinct I have. These young adults (well... children still, they're still at that age where they do not grasp adulthood yet) have stolen my heart and have showered me with unconditional love and affection, as if I were actually their mother in this life. I swear that God could have not sent me to a better place: 4370 Bonita Road.

These children were soon followed by three more: Karla, Diana and Ivo (Emi's baby brother, and coincidentally, the baby of my brood). I also allocated them a special place in my affections.

I was also lucky enough to reconnect with mummy's friend (my boss), Susana, who I have come to love as if she were my blood aunt. For all effects and purposes she is my aunt, my beloved tía Sussy. She has come to love me like a child of her own, and for all of her generosity and affection I will be eternally grateful. Shout out to Letty (Sussy's bestie and Happy Dog second in command), who has also looked out for me for the past two years.

I cannot bring myself to talk about the loving experience I have had at Happy Dog without mentioning the loving families of these children I have adopted. Liz (Ale's mummy), Margarita (granny), Tia Ceci and Tío Pancho (Ale's paternal family), and Sra Olivia (Emi's granny), thank you for also showering me with your love and affection. I am so grateful to have met all of you.

Enough love, back to the doggies and how I came to love this job. Anal glands aside, I never thought I would enjoy this so much! I didn't even like dogs when I came in on that first day. It was all based out of a need for survival. I was only there for one summer, which has now become 2 years. Aside from putting food on my table and paying tuition for my second degree, I go to Happy Dog Spaw to channel my stress into productivity. Dog grooming is therapeutic, when it's your side-hustle.

Doggies know when you need a pick-me-up, and the number of doggies that have licked my entire face and clung to my arms as I take them in for their tidy-up is a testament to all the joy they bring to me and the affection I show them with every bath.

The "therapeutic" part of the job was recently noted by Sussy's very flamboyant Spaniard friend, "La Pilarica" (Spaniard diminutive of the name Pilar), or as I dubbed her when I didn't remember her name during a previous meeting, "La Maja". It truly is therapeutic. As an Accountant, I am constantly under a lot of stress and pressure, pretentiousness (from those above me) and formality. Dog grooming helps me escape, for 8 hours on a Saturday, from the rigidness of the Corporate world I am so desperately trying to take down.

I started off as any other dog bather, but today I am more than that. I am a key part of the Happy Dog team as the receptionist and shift leader. I never thought that in dog grooming I was able to apply all of the business management skills I have learned throughout my life and all of that PR and customer relation sh*t I am naturally good at. Thank you Sussy for trusting me to keep everything working ship-shape and Bristol fashion (working like clockwork).

As I start my third year at Happy Dog Spaw, I am not sure how much longer I will stay on, but I assure everyone that, barring unforeseen circumstances, I am not leaving anytime soon. I plan on still answering "Happy Dog, how can I help you?" on the phone, welcoming customers, bathing dogs and expressing anal glands for the foreseeable future, as I keep on going to make a decent living and setting up my savings for a rainy day and that Master's I am so desperate to undertake in the long run.

I am proud to say that, besides being an Accountant (my profession, for which I have a deep love and sense of duty), I express anal glands and shave dog coochie for a living. It keeps me humble and grounded.